In honor of my Grandmother

Cecelia A. Moskal (Malinowski) - Photo taken June 4, 1945. Back of photo showed her address as 107 Barthel Street, Buffalo, New York.
Cecelia A. Moskal (Malinowski) – Photo taken June 4, 1945. Back of photo showed her address as 107 Barthel Street, Buffalo, New York.
My Grandmother Cecelia A. Moskal (Malinowski) passed away last week. She lived 87 wonderful years. I traveled home to be present for the celebration of her life with her extended family and helped craft the words below with my two brothers on behalf of our family, cousins, and loved ones. My brother Chris Mikolay did a phenomenal job of delivering this during the funeral mass.

WORDS OF REMEMBRANCE FOR CECELIA A. MOSKAL
SATURDAY, DECEMBER 6, 2014
OUR LADY OF PERPETUAL HELP
AURORA, OHIO

On behalf of this family, and in celebration of a life well lived, it’s my privilege to say a
few words in remembrance of my grandmother, Cecelia Antoinette Moskal. I want to
speak about her life, her legacy, and most importantly, about her love – a love she shared
so freely and that still lives in each one of us today.

Up front, I want to thank the staff at Anna Maria in Aurora and those nurses at
HopeBridge Hospice. You took such great care of my Grandmother and you’re doing
God’s work. Thank you. To my aunts and uncles, and especially to my Mother and
Father, and especially my Mom, who tirelessly and patiently helped to care for Grandma
in her twilight years, thank you. Thank you.

And I want to say to my Grandfather, John Moskal – Grandpa, Grams loved you so
much. She took such great care of you for so many years, and it’s clear how much you
loved her back, and how much you cared for her, as well. What a wonderful example you
two set for us all. Gramps, I have to say too, how heroic and inspirational it has been to
see you in these last couple of weeks, how you rallied to her side…it’s just been such an
extraordinary expression of love. Grams may have left your side, but her example lives
on in us, and we will be there for you.

So I’d like to tell you a little bit about my grandmother’s life – which is really a testament
to her Polish heritage, her Catholic faith, and our nation’s Greatest Generation, a
generation that stands for selflessness and sacrifice. Grandma embodied each one of these
identities with great pride, passing along many Polish-Catholic traditions – I think about
placek and pierogies – and she always put others before herself.

Let me take you back 87 years, when little Cecelia was born, the sixth of seven children,
to her parents “ZHAjze” and “Busia” Malinowski. Ceil had a happy childhood, raised in
a Polish community on the East side of Buffalo, until one day she caught the eye of a
young baseball prospect, the handsome John “Bucky” Moskal. Her love with Grandpa
grew from a quick kiss in the front-hall closet of Malinowski household, to a wedding at
St. Luke’s Church on August 12th, 1950, and ultimately, would blossom into a marriage
of 64 years. Sixty four years.

Over that time, John and Ceil would create quite a legacy: four children, Carol, David,
Mary-Jane, and Marty…as a family they would move from parts of New York and Ohio,
to Montgomery, Alabama, for a 35-year stretch, before ultimately returning to Ohio.
Their children would start families of their own and today there are ten grandchildren, all
of whom are here today, and now there are nine great-grandchildren, with the tenth greatgrandchild
set to make his worldly debut in March.

Grams never wavered in her faith, she was active in the church, and she sang beautifully
in the choir for many years. She especially loved Christmas Mass: O Holy Night was her
favorite song and every one of her children and grandchildren can remember joining in
with her to harmonize (as if I could harmonize with her) – of course, by the end there
wouldn’t be a dry eye in the house.

In so many ways, Grams was a renaissance woman. She was Martha Stewart before there
was a Martha Stewart. When I asked my cousins what they remembered most about her, I
had so many responses, I could go on for days, but it’s clear just how multi-dimensional
she was, and how much she impacted our lives. She was a competitor, she was feisty, and
she loved to golf – I can remember playing dozens of rounds of golf with Grandma as a
kid and I mean this literally, Grandma never once missed a fairway, ever. She enjoyed
playing cards, she laughed often, and had a great sense of humor; an outstanding
seamstress, a wonderful cook and baker, Grams made the best chocolate chip cookies and
her pierogies could have won awards.

A voracious reader, she devoured everything from biographies to fiction and went
through every Reader’s Digest cover to cover. She was inquisitive and interesting and fun
and collected so many friends through the years – oh, and she loved a good, smoky
scotch too, the smokier the better. But most of all, when I think of my Grandmother, I
think of the devotion to her family, and I think of love. Her love is very much among us
now, and in fact, her love is her greatest legacy.

To me, and to most of us in the family, one moment in time captured her essence, and the
example she leaves for us all better than any other. Twenty years ago, when Grandpa
retired, the four Moskal children and their spouses got together and presented Grandpa
and Grandma with a gift certificate to play several golf courses on the Robert Trent Jones
Golf Trail in Alabama. They also presented some spending money to use along the way.
Upon seeing the money, Grandma broke into tears and said nine words: “I don’t want
your money, I want your love.” It was spontaneous and brilliant and she meant every
word of it. What a lesson: I don’t want your money, I want your love.

We celebrate her life today, for Ceil lived a full and beautiful and faith-filled life. I
believe that Grandma today is in the hands of a loving God, that her faith carried her over
to the other side. And I also believe – I think that this morning Grandma woke up, she
walked out to a golf course greener than Augusta National on a glorious
morning…fairways lined with rose bushes, roses blooming as big as any of the beautiful
roses that Grandpa used to grow; she put down a Titleist, teed it up, and of course hit the
ball right down the middle. And I can just hear Grandma laughing that laugh of hers, and
just walking along enjoying the sunshine.

Theere’s a Polish saying that Grandma used whenever she said goodbye: “Ichees
Bogum,” she would say, which means, “Go with God.” To which the only reply is,
“Stanches Bogum.” Stay with God. So Grandma, Go with God, Stay with God. Ichees
Bogum, Stanches Bogum. We love you and we miss you, God bless.

When visiting with my Grandfather after the funeral, I found a note that I wrote them when I was little. I couldn’t believe they saved it and it meant a lot for me to be able to see it once again.

A note I wrote my Grandparents way back when...
A note I wrote my Grandparents way back when…

My one and only magazine cover

1998 was a big year for me. I graduated from college, got my first real job in the so called real world and I was doing what I loved, flying, each and every day. It was also the only year that I made the cover of a magazine. Thanks to the magic of Facebook and an old friend posting some photos of our fifteen seconds of fame, I got to stroll down memory lane this evening.

I was fortunate enough to go to work for Executive Beechcraft in Kansas City teaching people to fly out of the Kansas City Downtown Airport. I came to work one day and was told that a local photographer from Flight Training Magazine was coming by to take some photos and I was asked if I could make myself available to help. Having no reason not to say yes, I met the gentleman at the targeted time.

Since I was a flight instructor I was already familiar with the magazine and the fact that they did something very interesting with their covers. They liked to have the inside cover show the opposite perspective as the front cover. However, until I met with the photographer, I had no idea that he was solely looking to shoot the cover for a future issue. When he explained what he wanted myself and one of the students helped make it happen.

We jumped in a twin engine aircraft called a Beechcraft Duchess and spent nearly an hour working with the photographer to get a roll or two of film. Given that we still hadn’t entered the digital age where you can see someone’s photographic work within seconds, we had no idea what to expect until we saw the actual magazine hit the newsstands a few months later. Thanks to Bob Malt and his post on Facebook, (I’m in the blue shirt, he’s in the red shirt in the photos you see below) I was reminded of that sunny day in Kansas City as well as the feeling of seeing yourself on the cover of a magazine when it arrived in the mail.
cover3

cover2

While this was my only cover, I did help that same photographer a few more times in the eighteen months I spent in Kansas City. Several of those photos involved actual flights around the Kansas and Missouri area and appeared in both Flight Training and AOPA Magazine. Thankfully no additional published photos involved my ugly mug!

I just finished my first #Whole30!

I used to be six feet tall and nothing but a bag of bones growing up and all the way through high school. College brought change and I never really focused on my health with the right level of dedication as I slowly added weight.

While I wasn’t grossly overweight, I did always want to get back to a more reasonable level so I’ve spent the last few years trying to lose the excess by thinking that exercise and a bit of healthy eating was the key. While I had heard that the key to getting weight under control was 90% diet and 10% exercise, I just didn’t believe it since as I increased my exercise (typically by running regularly), I was able to shed some weight.

The problem with this was that every time once I dropped five or so pounds, I’d time and time again waver from eating right and justify the occasional ice cream, or other crappy food to reward myself for my good work and progress. This circular journey has repeated itself many, many times of the past several years.

Quest FitnessBack tracking to early 2014 and not yet realizing that I was still stuck on the merry-go-round of thinking that I could solve my problems with exercise, I decided to switch up my current routine by switching to a new gym / personal trainer. I had heard several great things about James Newman and his company Quest Fitness here in Guilford so I gave it try.

I’m going to do a separate post about the fun I’ve had both working with him individually but also in the group TRX classes I’ve taken in the last few months but what inspired me to make a change was listening to James and the other clients talk about tackling a Whole30 challenge. I had no idea what this was at first but after seeing a link on Quest’s Facebook page announcing that those that wanted to join in where welcome to it, I started to do some research.

Whole30 ChallengeI was skeptical but I bought the book It Starts with Food which isn’t a requirement since the Whole30 website does a great job of getting you started right away. However, I’m glad I did because I think it helped cement my personal need for a drastic change in the way I eat.

So what is the Whole30? The best way that I can put it is that you are electing to reset your eating by choosing to avoid processed foods as well as sugar, grains, dairy and legumes for a 30 day period since, as the book explains, they may be having an impact on your overall well being. Think of it as a big eating experiment where you basically choose to eat healthy and avoid all the easy and processed foods the we are offered day in and day out and you get to see how your body reacts to such a change. I’m completely oversimplifying and I’m sure this sounds like a fad diet but for me it was a simple program that just struck at the right time. Like I said, their website is chock full of info about the how’s and why’s.

For the thirty day period that my fellow classmates were enduring their own Whole30, I read the book, made excuses about why I wasn’t doing it and basically took the easy way out. James was great and each week asked if I had started my own journey yet. It wasn’t until I heard of some of my classmates successes coupled with the desire to just give it a try that I launched into my own trek on June 1. Boy am I glad I did but admittedly, it wasn’t easy.

Several themes within the book and program resonated with me but the biggest was that fact that I finally proved to myself that I use eating as a reward and that I also LOVE anything that is sweet or full of sugar. Ketchup, ice cream, frozen yogurt, etc., etc. were now off limits and I could no longer justify using the logic that “hey, you lost 5 pounds” or “you ran 10 miles this week” as an excuse to go to Sweet Frogs with my kids and chow down. Sugar is my downfall but these past thirty days have proven that I don’t need it nor do I crave it. Honestly, it took almost to the third week to smell something sweet and not want to pounce on it. Now I look at those things and can hold back without instinctively putting it into my mouth.

Replacing all the crap with good food had a bunch of benefits such as finding that I had more energy, I stopped snacking since each meal was filling and I found new things like coconut milk which I never knew had some many uses. I now eat a bunch of salads with either meat or seafood on them, and by spending some time on the weekend to cook a bunch of food, I never really had an issue worrying about what I was going to eat.

Those that know me know that I travel a decent bit and honestly this was one of my concerns early on since one can’t just find a lot of food that is all that healthy on the road. However, I managed to succeed at every turn whether it was finding a great “farm to table” restaurant in Fort Lauderdale to eating basic omelets for breakfast. Yes, it’s not the easiest but with some work, I made it happen each and every time.

So what was the end result and where do I go from here? That part is easy. I think I’ve really made a positive change in the way I look at food and the way in which I eat. As a result, I’m down to my lowest weight in 15 plus years but I know I have some more room to shrink. However, I feel much better about myself and the way in which I look. I plan on continuing to riding this wave at least for the next few weeks before I fully start to reintroduce some of the grains, dairy or legumes.

Part of the reason I am writing this today is not only to spread the word about the Whole30 but more importantly, throw down a marker so that I can come back to this post should the “sugar dragon” ever rear it’s ugly head and take back over my life. I obviously can’t bottle the feeling of being on the right track but perhaps getting this out for the public to see will help me remember it best.

To be continued…